Rabbi Jonathan Blass
Question
Dear Rabbi, I am getting married in a few months. My fiancee is relatively frum ie she keeps kashrut and shabbat strictly. This is the issue; she loves dancing in particular "lambada" which is a brazilian sensual physical dance performed with a male partner. She is very good at it. I am very much against it. Firstly for the very close physical contact with other guys inducing jealousy and also I think it is incompatible with oncoming marriage and its incongruity with being "frum". She says I am stopping her doing something that she really enjoys and she was dancing before we met and she is right on these accounts. This may seem petty but it is a problem. What do you think?
Answer
Mixed dancing is prohibited halachically. That one finds a prohibited activity enjoyable or that he has always done it, doesn’t remove the prohibition against it. If your fiancee is committed to observing halacha, why not put her in contact with a rabbi she respects who can explain the basis of the law to her? That way the issue won’t become a power struggle between you where she sees you as forcing her to do something against her will.
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